Police Suck

I have very little respect for "officers of the law". Have you ever seen Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle? The police officer that harasses Harold and Kumar is no embellished character - it is, spot on, an accurate representation of an average American town's law enforcement.

They're fat, they're stupid, they're douchebag's they're stupid. For the most part, this is an accurate way to describe a police officer. In areas of the country that need round the clock care and protection of their cities (Baltimore stands out in my mind), this might not exactly be the case. My issue with police officers is that instead of making the city safer, they are finding nice hiding spots in which better to surprise-fuck you by.

Let me say this - it's not entirely their fault. Your American city (typically town or village, the smaller the better for you not to want to ever go back and therefore you are more likely to make a plea of guilty - never do this) creates laws to keep you safe, and to keep your pockets nice and open to them. Pedestrians have the right of way, but be careful, one day you might actually get walked over for jaywalking. How do you illegally walk somewhere? Honestly, if I'm not stopping traffic, I should be able to walk wherever the hell I want - what are you going to do, take away my jogging privileges, GET A REAL JOB!

The most annoying of these "infractions" are all moving violations. I'm fine with getting a ticket if I'm blowing through a stop sign, or a red light, or going 40 over the speed limit. I get it. That's a safety risk. However, these pigs bend the laws and pull people over for going through yellow lights and not being in a proper lane - FYI, if it's paved and it's not a sidewalk, I'm driving on it; HEADS UP MOTHER FUCKERS, that's no bus lane, no is that a shoulder to hail a cab from - that's my private speedway and I'm not slowing down for the likes of you. Sorry about your foot, but my cabbie union is the shit, and we MIGHT cover your emergency room co-pay, IF YOU'RE LUCKY!

If you've received one of these BS tickets (I'll even throw in ANY parking ticket; if I charged you $5 for leaving your car next to my house you'd tell me to go fuck myself, the city will keep giving you tickets until the total reaches such that it can warrant your arrest and earn you a night in the pokey - be careful! NO TEETH!), you and I should do something about it. If there were actual crimes to take care of, these pigs wouldn't have time to worry about false infractions for revenue generation. Have you ever received a ticket for blowing through a red light in the ghetto? Me either - they've come in the mail from a streetlight mounted camera, thank you very much! Jaywalking? FYI, homeboy over there is throwing some "Blue Magic" in the drain and kicking his gat underneath that Escalade - EARN THAT PAYCHECK!