According to Michael Scott (see below) the best part about the office is "the people". Not true. I submit that this is the worst part of the office.
Every job has work, and for the most part the work is the same, or has similar parameters by which you need to complete this work. It's the personnel that changes from job to job, and man do those personnel's suck.
Take a look at Milton there. He is not incredibly liked by his co-workers, but for the most part he keeps to himself. Milton just happens to be the quintessential "weird co-worker" thanks to one of the greatest movies of all time. My problems lies in the guy (or gal) that seeks you and others out in the office to talk to you about the most obnoxious shit ever. This guy is always there, always has something to say, doesn't ever pick up on the slight body language that is a signal for all normal human beings to end a conversation, and this guy at the end of the day is just as weird as Milton here.
A guy at my office comes up to me one day and says, "So I here you enjoy Assassin's Creed?!" I should have known then and there that he was too excited for me to tell the truth. Hindsight being 20/20, I told him the truth. "Yes, I suppose I do..." Just what I fucking need. A 40-something coming up to me in the middle of a work day and asking me about a fantasy video game in which a clan of assassin's fight against remnants of the Templar Knights for the fate of the world. Awesome. This guy doesn't know or understand typical gestures of conversation ending. If I lean backwards, and start looking in other directions, and at my watch that doesn't exist, time to end the conversation. Instead, he takes a step closer and leans in to compensate for my movements away from him. Dammit.
At some point he said to me, "Will you be getting the new Assassin's Creed game? I believe it comes out soon." Actually Tuesday...and yeah, I got that shit on pre-order from Amazon... "Umm, we'll see." At this point in the conversation I already lied to him about a few things, but not nearly enough. Although I purchased the original game and played through to the end, I told this gentleman that I did not own the game, that it was my brothers, and that I only played a few times. Since that date he has come up to me asking me if I purchased the new game. I still say, "Nope, not yet." "Say, John, have you checked out the Assassin's Creed Lineage videos on the YouTube's?" Jesus Christ man, I'm trying to talk to my boss and you need to interrupt me with this shit, seriously? "No, not yet, I've been busy and I haven't gotten around to it."
I tracked it back to who mentioned it to this guy that I played the first game, and told him never to tell anyone else in the office a single personal thing about me. He wanted this guy away from him, so he gave him a piece of my personal life in the hopes that he'd latch onto me. It worked like a charm. Dude made a Bee-Line for me and never looked back. Well played good sir. But seriously, don't fucking do it again. I get annoyed when I'm working late, and trying to finish my work, but I can't talk to my project manager because some dude wants to talk about personal shit that I don't want to talk about, further prolonging my time at the office. I don't know how this guy gets work done, or how he fills out his timesheet. Is there a project number for 'Walking Around The Office Bullshitting". Probably OH-80081.35 (Overhead Boobies, ha).
Last week there was a little football game you may have heard about, the BCS National Championship. The game was played on Thursday Night. Thursday during the work day, Mr. Y managed to work his way around the office saying the following to each person he thought might respond, "So, big game tonight huh?" A few wise souls responded, "Huh?", or "What game?" A few unfortunate bastards decided to respond honestly. Bad move.
On Friday morning Mr. Y made his way back around to every person in the office he talked to the previous day about "the big game". "Wow, I can't believe they almost came back to win it with a FRESHMAN QUARTERBACK!" One very intelligent individual said in response, "Yeah but, didn't they get blown out?"
There are also people in the office who talk to anyone about any sports game, regardless of whether they follow it in a way that would lead you to believe they follow those teams like a die hard fan. They'll come to you with stats, and ESPN.com databased information, and wiki-knowledge. It's really annoying. I have a handfull of teams I pay attention to in detail, and I do think I know a lot about a lot of different sports and teams, but I don't know all the damn breakdowns. Nor do I care. Just shut up dude.
Long story short, Michael Scott is wrong. The people aren't the best thing in the office, they're the worst. But even Michael Scott had it sort of right... he sucked:
From The Office, Season 1, Episode 1:
Michael Scott: You know, we once had this young Guatemalan guy work for us, first time in the country, barely spoke English. He came to me and said, 'Mr. Scott, would you be the godfather of my child?' Wow, wow. [pause] Didn't work out in the end though, we had to let him go. He sucked.
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