Should It Be Yanked?

That's what she said.  Apparently Italian-American's are upset about MTV's new reality show Jersey Shore.  Personally, I'm not offended.  As an Italian-American myself, I'm beyond entertained.  Back in the not-so-distant past, even I had a blowout.  What was a young Italian-American to do in a town of Guido's?!

[MTV's Jersey Shore upsets Italian-Americans: Should it be yanked off the air?]

Personally, I say no.  I'm curious to see what happens to this group of young yet-to-find-themselves Guid's.  I'm just not buying the fact that they're "young".  How is it possible that anyone has the time to go on any of these shows, let alone drive their personal automobile to live in a shore house in Seaside, and sell t-shirts twice a week for 6 hours at a clip...


Let's take a look at some of the "Cast" Information - find the MTV syndicated information here [Jersey Shore > Cast Bios], but catch mine below.

Angelina - 22 - Staten Island
Unfortunately she was only on the show for 2-1/2 hours of airtime.  She didn't seem to have any (much) plastic surgery, and seemed like she had a real figure.  I would have enjoyed watching her get sloppy.  She was dramatic and entertaining and annoying.  She was dating a married dude, and "away" from him (they met up at a bar down the street, how stressful could the "distance" honestly have been?!).  She's 22, couldn't handle working for a single day.  Good luck to the dude that marries her - they're sentencing themselves to a life of indentured servitude.

J-WOWW - 23 - Strong Island
This one is a nut.  She's thin and has fake boobs, other than that she's completely worthless.  Bad complexion, herpes, and in lieu of crabs, bitch has lobsters.  Narshty!  It will be entertaining to see who she infects.

"The Situation" - 27 - Staten Island
First of all, I hate this guy.  He's the worst.  I hate that he believes anyone cares about him, or that he expects anyone but himself to call him "The Situation".  Second, I don't believe for a single second that he's only 27.  He looks like he's on the wrong side of 30 (wrong side of 30 for spending a summer at the shore selling t-shirts, nothing against 30+er's).  How does this guy afford his gym membership and haircuts?  Andro dealer?  Probably.

Snooki - 21 - Marlboro, NY
The first episode says shes from Poughkeepsie, NY, but the website says Marlboro.  Doesn't matter in the long run, but Marlboro is 10 miles closer to Jersey, AND on the west side of the Hudson.  I love that they called her "Snickaz" the first episode, because who walks in and introduces themselves as "Snooki".  I don't care to call you what you want to be called, what's your fucking name?!  This Snooki-Nicole person is easily the fuggliest of the bunch, and "The Situation" is quite horrendous himself, so this is saying something.  She's entertaining, but I heard MTV removed the clip of her getting decked in the upcoming episode, maybe I can find a clip for the end of the post...

DJ Pauly D - 28 - Johnston, RI
This dude (Rhode Island's most well known DJ) is almost 200 miles from Newark - how did he land this gig?  How is he, a 28 year old, able to travel that far to sell t-shirts?!  HOW DO I SIGN UP FOR THIS?!  Next episode: DJ Pauly D learns to cope with the Clap he caught from J-WOWW; it's one of those serious episodes with an underlying meaning.  Crap.

Ronnie - 23 - Bronx
Now this is what I expect out of my meathead-Guid's.  Ronnie, thank you.  You're everything and more.  I am so interested to see how this ridiculousness with Sammi goes down in flames.

Sammi "Sweetheart" - 22 - Hazlet, NJ
Yeah, she's cute.  Dumb as bricks too.  What's with all these shirts that have horizontal and vertical cuts in the back?  I keep seeing these black shirts for her "evening-wear", and they're all so similar, but so slightly different - I am furious with these Guid-optical-illusions!  Put on a normal shirt Sammi, or don't wear your trademark "cut-shirts" three times an episode...

Vinny - 21 - Staten Island
I don't like his stupid "steel" tinted glasses that he wears all the time, indoors, outdoors, 3pm, 3am, this guy needs something better than glasses as his trademark.  The episode where he got pink eye and couldn't work, what's wrong with him?  He had to work from 3 to 9,  his doctor's appointment was at 3:30pm, so he had to get coverage.  He managed to get 2 people to cover his shift from 3-7, but from 7-9 his boss was fucked.  How long was this appointment?  When you are done with your appointment at 4:15pm, GO BACK TO WORK VINNY YOU FUCKING IDIOT.  "Yeah, I was really looking forward to working today - it was my first day".  No you weren't.  You got home from the doctors appointment, took a nap, woke up when it was still light outside, got ready to go to the bar and was the first one out the door.  Get real bro.

Future 9th Cast Member?!
Angelina left, so in classic MTV fashion I'm expecting a brand new mofo ASAP.  Anyway, as promised, here are some links to some Snooki beatdowns, enjoy.  I know I will.  (Watch it while you can before Viacom removes all the clips from the internet)



[Jersey Shore Girl Punched]

[iView Compilation]

[Snooki Gets Snuck]